primary_asset | (no subject)

Though he and Finch had agreed it would be best to tell Karen the truth about who they are and what they do, though they had agreed having her on their team with her tenacity and her ability to dig up information would be an asset to everyone involved, though they'd agreed John would be the one to tell her, he's been putting it off.

As things are right now, when he's with Karen, it's easy to just be himself as much as is possible. There's no need to lie about his identity, not to the extent he has to with others. He isn't Detective Riley to Karen, he's allowed to simply be John Reese and while that may not be the name he'd been born with either, it's as close to a real identity as he's had in a very long time.

The moment he tells her the rest, that all changes. The moment she finds out about the Machine, he's afraid he'll become something else to her. A killer, most obviously. A special operative, which itself has plenty of negative connotations.

He's afraid, truthfully, to ruin that.

He's just as afraid of not telling the truth, however, and running the risk of her being hurt because of it. Finch has made it clear he knows John is habouring some feelings toward her, has even gone so far as suggesting he pursue her, but John is reluctant there, too. History has shown him what happens to the people he cares about. It's shown him what happens to assets who find themselves falling for one another. He'd lost Carter, he'd watched Root lose Shaw, he's seen first hand what losing Grace had done to Finch, and John just doesn't think he's prepared for that sort of loss. Not again.

He owes her the truth, though. That's what they've decided. So he calls her one afternoon, asks if she'll meet him, and finds himself nervously waiting for her outside the same diner he'd told her about Jessica and how he would have ended up dead if not for Finch. On the outside he looks as calm as ever, but inside he can't seem to find a moment of peace.

Threaded | Flat

Though Karen isn't sure what John has in mind when he calls and asks to meet her, she doesn't hesitate to agree. For all she knows, there may not be anything else to it than what it seems like. Still, a part of her can't help thinking that if this were just about getting lunch together, they'd be doing so somewhere else, not a diner specifically chosen before for its privacy. She keeps turning that over in her head as she makes her way there to meet him. Either way, it wouldn't have changed her answer, but she's never been much good at turning off her curiosity, and now is no exception. There's no way to avoid wondering what else could potentially be going on.

Still, the smile she wears as she approaches him is unencumbered by any thoughts of that, all warmth. "Hey," she says. "You really do like this place, don't you?"