John Reese (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
primary_asset) wrote2017-09-11 02:49 pm
primary_asset) wrote2017-09-11 02:49 pm
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John should have gotten in touch with Dutch sooner and he knows it, but looking for Finch had taken priority and then, once he'd finally accepted the reality of what had happened, taking some time to get control of himself had seemed more important. No one needs to deal with him when he's falling apart. Things aren't pretty when John Reese is falling apart.
He's not drinking, though, which is a step in the right direction. If not for Karen, he suspects he would be. He would have gone straight to Dutch, asked her to look after Bear for a little while, and then done his best to disappear into Darrow like he'd disappeared into New York. Eventually she might have come looking for him, but by that point he would have been dead. Drinking himself to death wasn't the fastest way to go about doing it, but he knows better ways now. Ways that would ensure it ended easily.
Finch would have hated that. He would have hated even the thought and so John reminds himself his life is different now. Finch gave him that life, gave him something to fight for and gave him a purpose. To squander that now would be an offence to their friendship and so he pulls himself together with Karen's help and then goes to meet with Dutch.
Bear won't leave his side, but John doesn't try to make him. He's taken a week off work, no one at the precinct has complained because they've all lost people, they've all found themselves suddenly wondering where their friends have gone, and if John needs time off, they'll give it to him. He looks better than he had when he'd finally gone to Karen, he's wearing clean clothes and he's shaved, but there's still something haunted in his eyes.
He was never supposed to do any of this without Finch.
They all live in the same building, but he asks Dutch to meet him at the park all the same. He's been there a lot lately, spending time watching the men and women play chess, thinking Finch should have been there with them. Bear whines softly by his side and John turns away, wandering down the path toward the place where he had asked Dutch to meet him.
It's easier for him to talk here. Samaritan may not be in Darrow, but old habits die hard and a crowd makes it more difficult for someone to listen in on what they're saying. And there's plenty for him to say.
He's not drinking, though, which is a step in the right direction. If not for Karen, he suspects he would be. He would have gone straight to Dutch, asked her to look after Bear for a little while, and then done his best to disappear into Darrow like he'd disappeared into New York. Eventually she might have come looking for him, but by that point he would have been dead. Drinking himself to death wasn't the fastest way to go about doing it, but he knows better ways now. Ways that would ensure it ended easily.
Finch would have hated that. He would have hated even the thought and so John reminds himself his life is different now. Finch gave him that life, gave him something to fight for and gave him a purpose. To squander that now would be an offence to their friendship and so he pulls himself together with Karen's help and then goes to meet with Dutch.
Bear won't leave his side, but John doesn't try to make him. He's taken a week off work, no one at the precinct has complained because they've all lost people, they've all found themselves suddenly wondering where their friends have gone, and if John needs time off, they'll give it to him. He looks better than he had when he'd finally gone to Karen, he's wearing clean clothes and he's shaved, but there's still something haunted in his eyes.
He was never supposed to do any of this without Finch.
They all live in the same building, but he asks Dutch to meet him at the park all the same. He's been there a lot lately, spending time watching the men and women play chess, thinking Finch should have been there with them. Bear whines softly by his side and John turns away, wandering down the path toward the place where he had asked Dutch to meet him.
It's easier for him to talk here. Samaritan may not be in Darrow, but old habits die hard and a crowd makes it more difficult for someone to listen in on what they're saying. And there's plenty for him to say.