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John had refused to jump to conclusions.

It wasn't completely uncommon to go a day without hearing from Finch, but they tended to talk regularly and it was around six in the evening that John finally sent his friend a text, asking how the day had gone and if there was any new work for him. When no response came, John assumed Finch was busy or perhaps out walking Bear and he had left it at that. When there was still no answer by morning, he'd assumed Finch had gone to bed early and had simply forgotten to reply in the morning.

This was, of course, ignoring the fact that Harold Finch never seemed to overlook anything in his entire life.

But John had gone to work, acted like nothing was wrong, and on his lunch break, he'd gone back to their shared building, headed to Finch's apartment and jimmied the lock so he could get inside. Bear whined upon seeing him, wiggling forward with his tail wagging, but there was something off in the dog's demeanor, some source of stress that wasn't usually there. John patted him absently and began to walk through the apartment, taking notice of anything that was unusual, but there was nothing. Nothing, of course, except for the fact that his friend was nowhere to be found. In fact, there looked to be no sign of him having been home at all the night before.

Bear had no food or water, which John knows Finch would have never let happen. His cell phone was sitting on the counter, John's text message unread. The bed was made, but cold. No clothes were missing as far as John was able to tell. The toothbrush in the bathroom was dry, the towel as well, no sign at all that the room had been used at all recently.

He'd called it in as a missing person, but with no sign of a struggle or forced entry into the apartment, no one seemed all that inclined to do much of anything. They knew how things worked in Darrow and everyone John spoke to arrived at the same conclusion. The one John refused to allow himself to jump to.

And so he'd spent three days looking for Harold Finch. He'd ignored texts from Dutch, stopping only to reply to Karen twice, letting her know he was okay and that he might be out of reach for a few days. By the time he's gone through more than half of the gangs in Darrow, though, he knows what's really happened.

He's tired. With Bear by his side, he finally returns to Candlewood, but he doesn't go home. He's still wearing the same clothes he was wearing two days ago, there's stubble on his cheeks where there usually isn't, but he can't go home. Instead he goes to Karen's and knocks lightly on her door, Bear sitting patiently by his feet.

(no subject)

John should have gotten in touch with Dutch sooner and he knows it, but looking for Finch had taken priority and then, once he'd finally accepted the reality of what had happened, taking some time to get control of himself had seemed more important. No one needs to deal with him when he's falling apart. Things aren't pretty when John Reese is falling apart.

He's not drinking, though, which is a step in the right direction. If not for Karen, he suspects he would be. He would have gone straight to Dutch, asked her to look after Bear for a little while, and then done his best to disappear into Darrow like he'd disappeared into New York. Eventually she might have come looking for him, but by that point he would have been dead. Drinking himself to death wasn't the fastest way to go about doing it, but he knows better ways now. Ways that would ensure it ended easily.

Finch would have hated that. He would have hated even the thought and so John reminds himself his life is different now. Finch gave him that life, gave him something to fight for and gave him a purpose. To squander that now would be an offence to their friendship and so he pulls himself together with Karen's help and then goes to meet with Dutch.

Bear won't leave his side, but John doesn't try to make him. He's taken a week off work, no one at the precinct has complained because they've all lost people, they've all found themselves suddenly wondering where their friends have gone, and if John needs time off, they'll give it to him. He looks better than he had when he'd finally gone to Karen, he's wearing clean clothes and he's shaved, but there's still something haunted in his eyes.

He was never supposed to do any of this without Finch.

They all live in the same building, but he asks Dutch to meet him at the park all the same. He's been there a lot lately, spending time watching the men and women play chess, thinking Finch should have been there with them. Bear whines softly by his side and John turns away, wandering down the path toward the place where he had asked Dutch to meet him.

It's easier for him to talk here. Samaritan may not be in Darrow, but old habits die hard and a crowd makes it more difficult for someone to listen in on what they're saying. And there's plenty for him to say.